


that day you ate too many chips and threw up by a football pitch

by aphwhales



Series: hate for the island [6]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Humanstuck, school shenanigans
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-05
Updated: 2017-10-05
Packaged: 2019-01-09 10:22:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 618
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12274455
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aphwhales/pseuds/aphwhales
Summary: September 2016:Your name is Jade Egbert-Harley, and one of these days Karkat and Eridan are going to get you in a lot of trouble.





	that day you ate too many chips and threw up by a football pitch

**Author's Note:**

> title from "we are beautiful, we are doomed" by los campesinos!

**September 22 2016**

Your name is Jade Egbert-Harley, and you really regret taking Honors Trigonometry. It’s not hard or anything, but it’s all sophomores who think they’re all that. And your friends Karkat and Eridan, who are way too competitive for this stupid review game. 

Karkat is busy glaring at the other team, and Eridan is attempting to solve a fractional equation and tapping his head repeatedly with his pen. He grumbles loudly and scribbles out his answer. 

“Dude, I fucking told you NOT TO WRITE IN PEN, you fucking idiot!” Karkat shouts at him. You sigh, and accidentally lock eyes with your math teacher, who looks a bit fed up with their antics. Every time you get a chance to win extra points by picking playing cards, they yell too loudly and confuse both teams. 

“Okay, work on question five. Karkat, Eridan, keep it down over there, for god’s sake,” Your math teacher commands. Karkat huffs and mumbles something that probably isn’t school appropriate. 

Question five, okay, you can do this. You’re taking four APs, including both Physics and Chem, in addition to this math class, this should be easy. 

It’s not easy. When you look up, having only set up the problem, Eridan is still staring at it and pulling on his ear, and Karkat is erasing things so angrily that his paper rips and shrieks very loudly, “GOD FUCKING DAMNIT.” 

Needless to say, your math teacher is not pleased, and Karkat is yelled at outside of the room for his trouble. 

You can only sigh, and glance at Eridan, who has finally, _finally_ switched to pencil. 

He’s still doing it wrong. 

Karkat comes back in looking grumpier than usual, and your teacher looks even grumpier, if that’s possible. It shouldn’t be, considering Karkat usually has his scowl plastered to his face, but somehow it is. 

Someone whispers something about anger issues and Karkat’s scowl gets grumpier. 

“Don’t be a grump,” you mumble past Eridan, knocking into his shoulder and effectively creating a sort of pendulum of shoulders when Karkat shoves back. 

“Fuckin’ stop it, Kar, I’m tryna work,” Eridan shoves Karkat back, hard, and Karkat falls out of his desk and lands headfirst on the nasty tile floor. His shirt’s riding up, and his legs are still on the chair. 

He doesn’t show any sign of wanting to get up, considering he’s still scowling at Eridan. His ears are red - which definitely attests to how angry he is, considering his darker skin. 

Your math teacher just opens the door and gestures. Karkat makes no move. Neither do you or Eridan. 

“Vantas-Leijon, come here.” Your teacher is super angry now. Like, Eridan-after-losing-a-game -of-chess-to-you angry. 

Which, in comparison to Karkat’s normal baseline anger, isn’t really a feat. 

“Harley started it.” You can only cross your arms over your chest indignantly.   
“I did not!” You realize you sound like a child, but do you give a crap? Nope. “Really, if you want to get technical -”

Your teacher calmly (but angrily) explains that no, he does not want to get technical, he just wants to see you and Karkat outside. 

Eridan rolls his eyes dramatically, and is immediately roped in. 

Later, in detention, you whisper to them, “Friends who ride together die together, boys.”

Karkat and Eridan immediately begin arguing loudly about whether “Bros before hoes” accurately describes the three of you, because Karkat is currently dating a boy. 

Dave, in the back of the room for causing trouble in the locker room with your brother, calls loudly, “I’ll be your hoe if you want me too, Kit-kats.” 

You devolve into raucous laughter and miss the glare being sent at you by the security guard stuck with you kids.


End file.
